Done

I don't want to be here anymore.

Herpin' & Derpin'

That awkward moment when you are drunk alone in your room wondering how you can be 18, single, nerdy, watching chick flicks after a really boring blind date, questioning your artistic abilities, contemplating your best (female) friend's break-up, and all you can think about it is that you would totally date Kat Dennings if she was willing to.

Goodbye Theatre Perfomance & Creation at Red Deer College

I have never known a capacity for love and between people that I have known for such a short time until now. I sit in my room, drunk and crying after a long day of performing realizing how much I love people. Most specifically, I love the people that I have worked with over the past 4 months. I am leaving them and they gave me the most incredible parting gift: unrelenting love. Everywhere I turned tonight I was beset by hugs and praise. They may have been a huge bunch of crazy, drunk actors, but I could tell every one of them meant what they said. I was told that they were naming a scholarship after me, and that nobody else that had left the program had ever received such a goodbye. I am eternally grateful for working with these amazing people and having the honor of sharing a classroom with them every day. I love you all to the ends of the earth. Thanks again for these past months of awesome. I will miss you with all my heart.

Me Being an ENTP

I have recently become re-interested in Myers-Briggs Tests, a type of personality test that basically explains how you perceive the world and go about making choices within it. I am an ENTP, which are described as outgoing, inventive, attention seeking, distracted, knowledgeable and argumentative people. That pretty much is me in a nutshell, although after reading over a few descriptions of my type again I have come to the conclusion I am something of a late onset ENTP, at least when it comes to two of the biggest features of the personality: being extraverted and attention seeking.
When I was a kid I was pretty darn shy around adults. I think this came from my big reliance on my older to brother to take charge in situations. He would deal with people (mostly because he just wanted to be the leader) and I would sit back and let him do the talking. If I could call any relationship the defining one in my life it would be the one I have with my brother. When we were kids he and I were close, but a somewhat vitriolic close. He treated me like crap and I made fun. I antagonized him and he beat me up. Even today most of our discussions become arguments. I will even argue with him just for the sake of arguing, something that is very classic for an ENTP. However, my relationship with my brother is what in the end pushed me out of my shyness. I think subconsciously my choice to go into the performing arts was something I did not only for myself, but also just to get under my brother’s skin.
Another contributing factor to my social reluctance is still something I struggle with: my fear of being wrong. I have always been afraid of saying something that is not the right thing in a given situation. So I shut up. That is until a topic came up that I knew a lot about. My family and friends can attest to my ridiculous knowledge of anything I am interested even mildly in. By mildly I mean things I have only spent maybe two or three days looking up on Wikipedia rather than weeks. So if say, the subject of comic books came up, I was all over that conversation like a fat kid on cheeseburgers. One of my most fond memories of such an event was when I just started working at a local hobby store I never talked to any of my coworkers. Mostly because they were frequently old boring dudes, but partly because I just didn’t want to say anything out of line at my first job. Then the topic of palaeontology arose, which led to several ongoing discussions with my coworkers. My quick absorption of knowledge is something that has served me well in school and in my social life. I have in the past gotten A’s on tests without studying while others have spent hours going over textbooks and have barely passed. I know that sounds like me tooting my own horn but I can name just as many times where my lack of studying failed me miserably. But for all this knowledge I had, I still wasn’t exactly a confidant kid.
When I was in middle school I started getting severe migraines and I was out of school for weeks at a time. This was probably the biggest influence on my social growth, or lack thereof. From grade 7 to, about halfway through grade 11 I rarely hung out with friends I pretty much wasn’t close to anyone. I could tell this worried my mom who thought I was going to end up being one of “those kids” that didn’t have any social interaction. By grade 10 I was in a pretty bad place because really, all I wanted to do was socialize. I yearned for it, but had no fucking clue how to do it anymore. It took two choices to pull me out of my shell.
In grade 10 I was offered the chance to take part in a theatrical production that would be taken to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. I jumped on my chance to do this, and I still don’t know all the reasons why. I had been taking drama for the last few months of that school year and felt like it was the only part of my day that I truly felt like I was myself. So my choice to go to on the trip to Scotland could have been motivated by that. However, I think it may have been mostly spurred by my constant strive for close friendship, and after seeing how close the theatre kids were (and how cool they all seemed) I thought this was my best chance to accomplish that. I signed up as soon as could (one of many impulsive moves I have come to thank my ENTP personality for), but the rehearsals for the show didn’t begin until the February of my next school year. This left a full nine months before I would be working with my potential new friends. At first I was okay with this, but I soon went to a pretty dark place. Come autumn I wasn’t doing so well in school, something I hated myself for. At this point in my life my plan was to become a zoologist or a palaeontologist, both careers that require good grades and a lot of science courses. I came to realize that maybe this wasn’t the career path I wanted to follow. Maybe, I needed to follow my artistic streak. At the last second I changed my second semester course of chemistry to Drama P (the more…advanced drama course offered at my school). This rapid choice was but another that I thank my personality type for because it finally opened me up to my new life as an actor. During my second semester of grade 11 I was getting a double dose of theatre kids, and I loved every second of it. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t an immediate change. It took me a while to get used to all these new people, which was something that frustrated me as I am an extremely impatient dude (go figure), but eventually I did bust through my wall of insecurity.
So now, here I am. Eighteen years old, in my first year of college studying theatre and I am completely comfortable with myself and who I am. I have friends I wouldn’t trade the world for and I get to spend hours a day doing something that feeds my ENTP brain, in all its inattentive, impulsive, zany glory.

Language and Girls

I taught myself the America Sign Language Alphabet last night. It took only a half hour which surprised the hell out of me. I really think I have a knack for languages or something because I have always been able to pick up on them quickly, whether it was learning Japanese in karate class or figuring out all the Mandalorian slang in the Star Wars novels I used to read.

I have come to the conclusion that the thing in a girl that I am most attracted to is their brain. Sure, I am a guy so obviously the boobs and butt count for something (although from a physical standpoint the eyes what are truly attractive) but when it comes down to it smart girls are who I am truly attracted to. And I don’t mean “I got A’s in all my high school classes so I must be smart” kind of intelligent. I’m talking about girls who are well and truly brilliant minded and are willing to talk about science or world politics or art and not get bored. I really think that smart girls are totally my kryptonite.

COLLEGE!!!!

I meant to post as soon as I got here but I didn't have internet access until today. So here is 3 days worth of college blogs!

September 5/2011
I moved into my college residence today. It’s pretty cool, although somewhat crammed, which is to be expected I guess. I live with three other dudes who all seem pretty cool, but man, do they have a lot of stuff compared to me. I got next to nothing. I barely have enough hangers for all my clothes and yet these guys have a dishwasher, a TV, and an Xbox. I feel like poor man. I guess it’s my minimalist way of thinking. I could live on Kraft Dinner and comic books for the rest of my life and I’d be cool with it.
I think I moved into the music part of res. All of these guys are music students and I, the sole theatre student feel somewhat out of place. There are guitars and amps all over the place, one dude beat-boxes in the shower (amazingly well I might add) and there is an organ in the basement. Yes, you heard me correctly. An organ. Why the hell would you need an organ? I don’t know but I guess I’ll find out.
My sister wrote me this amazing letter about me leaving and it most definitely brought me to tears. I read it about a half hour after she and my parents left and I was alone in my room and I totally started crying all over the place. I love my sister. She is the best. I wouldn’t enjoy life as much as I do without her. I’m going to miss her so much I can’t even find words to describe it.
I guess this is the beginning of a new era of my life. I’m finally on the road to my future. Sounds lame but it’s true. I’m staring down the canyon of the rest of my life and I’m ready to jump off with no parachute. A year and a half ago if you had told me I’d be on my way to being an actor I would have called bullshit on you. Back then I was a cynical, antisocial dork. Now I am a stupidly positive (borderline naïve) zany nutjob who is willing to jump off of buildings for shits and giggles. What a difference. It’s like I grew down. It’s as if I am just now getting to be an adolescent idiot just as I become an adult.

September 6/2011
First day of actually going to school and it was intense. It wasn’t classes or anything but we were there for orientation and met our instructors and the other students in our program. Holy crap this is going to be a completely new experience. Especially considering how different the dynamic is in this social circle. When I got into my group of friends in high school I was kind of adopted like a lost puppy into a well-established group, but this is starting from ground zero. Even the second years who have already known each other for quite some time don’t seem particularly tight. It’s odd going from such a close community to this disparate hodgepodge of people. I guess it’s only going to build from here, so I’m forever optimistic.
There was this hot, twenty-something year old redhead at orientation and I flirted with her for like, a second but I played up to people that I totally was going to get with her just for the shits and giggles. She was still hothothot hothothot though.

September 7/2011
Classes began today and they seem really legit. Like, this is going to be the foundation of the rest of my life. I’m learning shit now that I’m sure I will take with me forever. One class is basically Professional Development in the Arts on steroids, which is just the craziest thing ever. I’m so glad I took that class last year, because now I feel more relaxed (although still stressed out of my mind) about that class.
We went out after classes to a bar and grill called Bo’s with a bunch of the other students in the program (both first and second years) and it was a blast. I think I came off a little strong and hyper, but I guess that’s just how I am in new social situations. Obnoxious and without a volume control.

Scotter & Apes 2: Rise of the Planet of the Apes

Rise of the Planet of the Apes was fabulous. It is one of the greatest sci-fi movies of all time. I am willing to put it up there as my favourite film of this year and possibly my third favourite movie next to Inception and The Dark Knight. It is an incredible film that portrayed The Planet of the Apes franchise in near perfect form. This is what all those other movies should have been.

Pros:
- The story had more depth than the Pacific Ocean. It was an emotional story that was propelled by character and plot rather than special effects and action. Pure amazing story telling.
- The apes were marvellous. Never have “Serkis folk” looked so amazing. The motion capture in this movie puts Avatar to shame. And speaking of Andy Serkis, the king of motion capture was absolutely amazing as Caesar, as were the other actors portraying great characters such as the wise old orang-utan, Maurice and the creepy chimpanzee, Koba. I sincerely hope they bring back Koba as a potential villain for the next films. Interestingly the name Koba was an alias of Stalin before he took power. Do I smell a Russian Revolution allegory?
- The science in this movie was some of the best I have seen from any blockbuster. The original series wasn’t exactly accurate, but then again, this was before people actually gave a damn about the believability of sci-fi. The use of a retrovirus (a virus that alters the genetic code of an individual eg. HIV) was unexpected but it was exactly what the doctor ordered (oh, the irony). The apes were portrayed with amazing realism, with obvious behaviour differences between the various species seen. My favourite scene was the climactic bridge sequence where Caesar used the strengths of the three kinds of apes to his advantage, commanding the orangs to attack from below, the chimps from above and the gorillas to push a bus as a barricade to the humans’ gunfire. These moviemakers did their research.
- I wanted the movie to keep on going so badly. It just had to. I remember sitting in the theater hoping that it wasn’t over yet. On the bright side, it made a shit load of money and got good enough reviews it probably will get a sequel!
Cons:
- The human actors were not really in it much. Although this wasn’t too bad, it became something of a bummer when I saw amazing actors like Brian Cox and John Lithgow given such little screen time (although Lithgow was great as the Alzheimer’s ridden father of Franco’s protagonist). The chick was almost unnecessary. She could have been cut out and it wouldn’t matter.
- There was a bit of the forcing of references to the old series. The worst was Tom Felton’s “Take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape!” and Caesar’s subsequent shouting of “NO!” This fell a little bit into Narmville (go to TV Tropes and look up narm) and at that moment I was afraid for the movie but it soon rose back up to awesomeness.
- Tiny plot holes. Like, why not bring in the army to shoot the fuck out of the apes? I kind of realized that if the San Francisco PD called up the army and told them that apes were attacking the army would be all like “are you kidding me?” and hang up, so that was my rationalization.

The Verdict?
Acting: ****
Plot: *****
Effects: *****
Truth to Source: ***

Overall: *****

This is the kind of movie I would want to be a part of. This is the movie that made me realize I want to become a film actor just so I can play an ape. I’ve already been a superhero. Now the plan is to be a chimp.