Thursday, June 30, 2011

Malarkey Shenanigans

Malarkey Shenanigans is defined as:

"Things you totally should not do but are just too damn awesome so you do 'em anyway".

Malarkey Shenanigans include, but are not limited to:

Running around in your underpants
Drinking...too much
Falling on your face and splitting your chin open
Jumping off cliffs
Climbing on rooftops
Blabbing about Buzz Lightyear while getting facial reconstruction surgery
Burping way too loud
Being too loud in a public place
Running through the streets
Swimming in rivers
Eating a whole box of donuts to yourself
Drinking 3 large slurpees in one day
Climbing stairwells
Sprinting through your neighbourhood in a superhero costume
Making an epic entrance into a room when it is unwarranted
Screaming for no reason
Climbing trees
Quoting movies at inappropriate times
Singing in public
Swimming in your clothes
Trying to climb up stairs on your back (just try, I dare you)
Lyeing on the ground in weird places
Climbing fences
Sliding down banisters
Shooting toy insects around with a slingshot
Watching YouTube videos when you should be doing something else
Using exacto knifes as throwing weapons
Trolling the interwebz
Jumping off things that really should not be jumped off
Climbing on things that should not be climbed on
Running through things that should not be run through

You've probably realized by this point that I may have done one or two (or all) of these things. The list may be changed sooner or later.

"And what kind of malarkey shenanigans--" -Peter Parker

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Green Lantern is Not That Bad

Going into this movie I thought it would suck. Reason being is I always get a preconceived notion after reading reviews and almost make up my mind before I actually go watch a movie. Plus, the trailers I had so far seen were not that spectacular because they kept on showing the same shit over and over again. Depressing. Anywho, let’s get on with it.

Green Lantern was good. I wouldn’t say it is The Dark Knight material, but it’s decent. It’s up there with (some people might hate me for saying this) the first X-Men Trilogy (not a big fan). Let’s first list the pros and cons:

-Ryan Reynolds actually was the consistently good aspect of the movie, which is surprising because I wasn’t exactly happy with his casting as Hal.

-The effects were pretty badass. Gotta love thousands of different GL’s that look totally sick and tricked out in their own distinct suits. The Guardians and Oa were both incredible as well.

-Secondary extraterrestrial characters were all perfectly cast. Mark Strong stole the show with his overall 10 minute portrayal of Sinestro.

-The basic story was not that bad. It had some rather random plot deviations, but overall it was pretty generic for a Green Lantern origin story. There’s no trumping A New Frontier with this, but meh. It’s hard to beat Darwyn Cooke in reimagining superheroes anyway.

-Parallax was lame. It was Galactus from Rise of the Silver Surfer with a face. Why was he a Guardian? What happened to the epic insectoid dragon of death that possesses beings and feeds off the fear they instil in others. If I ever see a galactic cloud of death replace an epic villain again I will loose all faith in superhero cinema (not really, but it sucks and is old already).

-Hector Hammond….should never have even been in the movie. I didn’t care about him, his ties to Hal were barely explored, his powers were blah, he squealed for no reason, and I just got annoyed with the acting. He was trying to be creepy but instead it was just goofy.

-Random plot points that were shown and then just barely touched on throughout the rest of the movie. Hal’s family were pretty much useless beyond inspiring him to play Green Lantern hot wheels. Hector Hammond, as mention above, was useless. Dr. Waller’s little flashback origin revealed very little and was simply ditched right after it was shown.

The verdict?

Acting: ***
Plot: ***
Effects: ****
Truth to Source: ***

Overall: *** 1/2

Like Brother & Sister

I was floundering around the interwebz today and found myself landing on the addictive site known as TV Tropes. I have devoted eras of my time to this goofy website and really should never be aloud to read anything on it anymore because I just get glued to my seat the moment the URL pops into the address bar…anywho, this particular visit drew me to a trope called “Like Brother and Sister”. This trope is defined as:

“Sometimes, two characters of the opposite sex are very close - so close that you might expect them to be dating. Except they're not. They admit that they matter a great deal to each other, they would die for each other, and that they can't imagine life without each other. They aren't just any pair of friends. They're as close as family. They're like brother and sister!”

Reason being is that I have two friends who have been ridiculously close to me for the last 2 years and they both happen to be chicks. And I am constantly “shipped” with one or the other all the time, by teachers, family and other friends. It’s actually annoying, especially when I have previously dated one of them (our friendship basically began with us dating). The two girls are as follows:

Crazy Lady: Named because she does insane things that make you think she’s crazy (see trope “Exactly what it Says on the Tin”). She’s possibly the most genuinely happy person I have ever met and basically the most positive person in my life. The twin sister I never had.

Shmoopsie-Poo: Okay, this nickname lends itself to the so called “shipping”, but I don’t care…anywho, she’s someone who I basically just make fun of and she does the same to me. Sounds terrible, but I’m cool with it. Although we come across as antagonistic towards each other we always have each other’s back even when someone else doesn’t. Pretty much an older sister.

As a good explanation of the shit I go through in order to avoid being mistaken for dating these 2 is the time I spent in the room of my (former) English teacher who I will now call TrollFace (for he looks like a Troll Face). I was working away after an exam on this art thingie that I was tasked to work on by my class. I got to talking with TrollFace (who is, BTW, one of the coolest teachers I’ve ever had) and somehow the topic of conversation swung onto my relationship with Shmoopsie-Poo. TrollFace inquired as to whether or not we are “together” and I was all like:

TrollFace told me he thought so because Shmoopsie-Poo and I are never seen around him without each other (hence the “got each other’s back” comment previously) and I told him we were just really close. He then said that in high school a dude and chick that are as close as Shmoopsie-Poo and I usually are dating and so he just assumed. I was still all like:

I then explained to TrollFace about how my family had been trying to get me to date Shmoopsie-Poo and how a bunch of my friends thought I should date Crazy Lady and suddenly TrollFace jumped to the inquiry of whether or not I was dating Crazy Lady and my expression finally settled on:

I then had to explain to him that I was just really close with her too. It was pretty funny seeing him conceptualize that I wasn’t dating these people…

While strolling through tropeville I found a quote from one of my favourite Justice Leaguers that pretty much sums up my relationship with these two girls (mostly Shmoopise-Poo).

“She loves me. Seriously, she's like the big sister I never had. Only, you know, short.” –Wally West on Shayera Hol